Good husband syndrome

Working through my hectic work schedule which includes weekend work, I have small breakdown this past month.

I just collapse and break down over phone with husband dearest while I was in office at 9 pm and still see 3 hours of work ahead. This on a Saturday!!!!

He was supportive and said do not worry I'll make dinner and you wind up fast.

What bothered me more was how he was fine with me not coming home soon on Saturday and supported me while I had my dramatic breakdown so far saying should I wait in your parking while you complete your work.

That is when I discovered I had very clinically dangerous Good husband syndrome, a husband who understand my work and my need for personal life and let me have it. Does not ask with what I do with my money.

These new breed husband's who are actually good do lot of harm to their wives. Their support makes wives depressed, and guilt ridden. This self guilt is what would make an already crazy women go extra crazy and take on lot of work household or otherwise.

While the world was suffering and not suffering with all good and bad things, I was suffering through good husband syndrome. That is burdening me more than I think off. Making me pray for husband who orders me like 19th century indian husband to do this do that and alas he refuses.

He says why should I be bad because you can't rid of your misery.

We work sometimes , at times work is hectic, yet people in our life are what pulls us together. As this year passed I knew one thing, I'm for life diagnosed with good husband syndrome.

Patience of traffic jams

Living in city of traffic jams, and my whole irritation of travelling so.much to school/ work , it was difficult.

Never knew when 45 mins commute would turn to 2-3 hours saga and it happens quite often. The impatient  me would ramble or at times scream about same and vent my frustration on husband dearest.

These days it became my way of morning ritual, sit in my cab and say my prayers, plug in earphones and listen to music,  Today it was Kenny chesney.

My outlet / preparation for pressure which will be on me once I step into workplace and craziness which follows.

I listen to traffic and identify the vehicle which is making it. We have autos, cars, mini bus, bus, mopeds, bikes and even at times trucks.

My time in whole craziness, which helped me as I endure less pain and frustration as I do not continue to brood over the travel but doing something other than work - office or household.

Taught me at times things happen and you can't always stop, atleast when you are in Bangalore traffic jam. Better prepare for what would follow and lock horns when you actually arrive.

Who said commute to office can't be thearuaptic  , ask me.

This is while I travelled for 1.5 hours today to work.- kiran vajapeyazula 11-17-2016

Freedom .

"Freedom is an idea, thought, feeling and being? How do I know how free I am? Freedom means I can do whatever I want to do? Living without boundaries when each day we build a fort around us?

Freedom is in knowing that we are not restricted by circumstances, people or material. Knowing that we can breathe in and out without hesitation. We are not stopped  from spreading our wings or our smiles. Being our true self, with each person in out life and accepting each as his/ her own. Do we really enjoy and know our freedom.' - kiran vajapeyazula 11-15-2016

What provoked these thoughts, a simple realization that we have the most basic of freedom , to breathe clean air and while even that is luxury for many. We make our own problems big enough to overshadow many things we have in our lives.